Wednesday, November 30, 2011
This week I received word that a friend had died; he had been ill for a while, and lived in Europe, and although I knew this news would come someday, I was surprised by how hard it hit me. I've said before that death and I have a dance we do....I've lost plenty of people in my life, and each one is still tied to me with memories, letters, thoughts or postcards in my mind. We creative types sometimes over think things, and it gets us into trouble, dragging us to places we have no business being; but thinking about Robert, and his life, and how many people we had in common, also had me thinking about the last time I saw him and how genuinely happy he was to see me. Although I know he would have preferred the company of Dr C so they could talk history and politics, he was his gentlemanly self with a twinkly smile, and a rapier wit.
As I have let my mind wander, I thought back over the last 2 weeks while our children were here visiting; we had many moments with our granddaughter Poppy that I will remember, but I fear they will only be photos on a screen for her in later years. How do we make those moments last in our mind; how are we our best selves every minute of the day?....I admit to losing it a couple of times while everyone was here....not a pretty picture, and one I wish I could erase but it's there, and the only thing I can do is hope and pray that I will be better the next time, living each day as best I can, honestly, and with humility.
Losing our friends, and family brings the reality of our own lives into sharper focus. I've been struggling lately with the fact that there is no next book on the horizon, and although I love what I do, my focus has been somewhat blurred, and I'm not sure what that means. Losing Robert has put that all into perspective for me...it's not about what I do, it's how I do it, making each one of those moments in time shine.
I'll be back later this week with some recipes, and thoughts on gift giving for the holidays, until then, hug your loved ones....life is precious, and all too often we ignore it.